it's a blog from the secret corner of my desk...

killing time here, it's 16h30 and I have one hour until I am free. I was out last night with Jo and her friend Dan... It's kind of funny Jo's ex's name is Sarah and her best friend is named Danielle like my ex. Life is strange sometimes... speaking of strange coincidences... There is this huge billboard outside my flat for Air Canada. I guess fate had it destined for me to be living there.

Oh yes, Pearl, I must pay her homage, she is our bloated goldfish... I mentioned her in my last blog, but sadly didn't know her name. So now I've set the record straight, she'll stop nagging me.

Went to the girl bars in town last night, There are so many, it's quite an adjustment from the Lookout in Ottawa... It was only Wednesday night and there were loads of people! I don't know if I'll ever be able to live in a small city after this... there is just so much going on I can't keep up!

Trying to plan things out for this weekend. I am due to make another trip with my things from Richmond. I'm thinking I'll have the most luck if I just do it all on Saturday. It's a pain in the ass to drag it across town on the tube, but at least if I do it on the weekend, there will be less people to weave through.

I have to get my ass in gear and find a gym... I feel so soft and mushy, walking to work and back doesn't give me much exercise...

Spoke with Denise today who is off on her Asian adventure tomorrow. She sounded so excited. She may be in London on business the day she gets back from her holidays... she'll be wrecked but it would be so great to see her...

Note to self- Avoid the egg salad sandwich from the sandwich shop down the street.

Note to self- Get hair cut...

Note to self- stop making notes to self.

Work!!!!!!!!!

So I'm at work right now... this will be brief... seems to be a trend immerging here, by blogging is becomming less and less fequent. I guess it's just the adjustment into a new schedule.

Work has been extremely busy, far more busy than one would imagine considering it's only been 3 days that I've been here. It's a nice place, and it's nice to use my brain once again!

Stayed at my new flat last night. Crashed on one of the futons in the sitting room... not the most comfortable places but, still, it was nice to just walk to work this morning! I don't know if I mentioned it or not but we have a pet. It's this mamoth goldfish that lives in a bowl in the sitting room. He's too cute. Don't know his name, mind you... lol

Heading to check out the local gym on my way home today... I'm a little apprehensive as to the exactly what sort of archaeic machines I might find there. Going out tonight with Jo and her best friend. I'm so happy to be back in the land of those who socialize. One more night of sitting in, and I would go mad!

Johnnie has been requesting Sarah U.K pics for the blog. I'm making it my mission this weekend to take some pics and then downloadthem to my laptop and then upload them here.

I have this guy hounding me... he's called me here at the office, twice... wants to talk to me about a job that I applied for a week or so ago... I'm not sure but I'm think he's not quite getting that I already have one! LOL

Heading out now... the rain is comming...

toodles

Eureka!

So the gods were smiling on me today. After seeing a few nightmareish places I've found a flat!

It's a 15-20 walk to work! it's with two girls Hannah and Jo. They're really sweet girls and the flat is really nice! It's all re-furbished. From the outside it leaves a lot to be desired but the location and the roomies are briliant!

I start work tomorrow so I've got to get home and rest. I've been flat hunting since 11h this morning and it's now almost 7pm! I did my travel card good use.

The small downfall is that the room isn't furnished but I should be able to find a bed a lot easier than it would be to find a better place!

It's a 3 storey place with the kitchen on the main floor and my room and the sitting room and the WC on the second and Jo and Hannah's rooms upstairs. it reminds me a lot of the british version of my old place in Ottawa.

I'm so releived! I can't wait to move in!

Friday!

Yes, so today make it's Friday. A full 7 days I've been here now. I just read that Britney Spears in getting married. LOL man, that made me laugh. She's all fo 19 or something like that. Just imagine. Uchk!

So on my walk into town this morning I noticed that this little town of Richmond is the world capital for dental surgeons! LOL no, seriously there are about half a dozen clinics all along the way here. It's so funny. It's nothing official or anything like that, but if ever you are in need of dental surgery this is ths place to be!

Meeting up with Blaise tonight for some drinks. I haven't seen him since I left Lyon in 1997! It's so long! I'm happy to have someone to go out with. Another night at home would have done my head in!

Heading out now to see if I can get another paper with more flat listings. I'm having trouble getting into my hotmail account so I can't see if the digital eve ladies have been of any assistance in my search... we'll see.

Have you a flat?

I have dedicated today as my flat finding day. There are so many options and I hardly know the city. I have a bunch of places to call. Hopefuly I can manage to get in to visit some of them before the weekend. I don't start my job now till monday. That gives me an extra week day to find a place to live.

Culture shock is eminent (sp?) I know I'm sleeping too much but I'm doing my best. It's rainy and grey today. It's the first time I've ever seen London like this. Mind you, I doubt it will be the last!

I'm at the cafe early today. 9am Canadian time. I suppose all my friends are just arriving at the office. Bought a Time out today. They have a free Tricky concert comming up in 2 weeks. You have to go and line up to get the tickets next week. Maybe I'll pop down on my lunch. I would love to see him live. Lamb is also playing in a few weeks. If the cashflow allows I think I'll go see them.

Hoping to get out on Friday night. Looking for some trouble. he he.

more later....

a job?

Yes, it's true... I've got a job offer. I'm so excited! It's with www.framworksbrandlogic.com it's a company that I had a telephone interview with before I left. They want me to start Friday! I'm so thrilled. It's a really cool studio at Islington Higbury. It's quite easily accessable. I think I'm going to accept the position. If all works out then I hope to find a flat this weekend.

Met Elizabeth for lunch today. It was an ex-ottawa red head convention. We had lunch at this really nice pub in earl's court. she lives there with her boyfriend. It's such a nice area. I would love to live around there. Plus it's only a 15 min tube ride to work. Who knows... I stood with the mass amounts of people reading the accomodation board for that area before heading back to richmond. It's so surreal. Somehow... having a job lifts such an incredible weight from my shoulders!

Oh yes, I've just remembered. My cousins managed to get tickets to the recording of the TV series "black books" it's hilarious. It comes on the CBC tuesday nights at 9pm (or at least it did earlier in the summer) It should be a riot!.

I'm too excited to even blog. More tomorrow.

sj_chick@yahoo.com

There's just no receipt

"There's just no receipt for a body" My cousin says to me this morning on our way to play tennis. Hmm. now true as it may be. It's something I never thought of. He was telling me the story of how his mother (my grandmother's sister) passed away. He explained to me in intricate detail as he always does... the day they came and took her body. He said there was no more helpless feeling than watching them take her away and realizing that there was no receipt. Life has you expecting things like that. What if they misplaced her? What if there was a mix up? There would be no trace. For some things in life you just have to have faith.

On that note. I think that's my lesson for the day. Didn't get that job that I went for on Friday. I know I've only been here a few days but it feels discouraging. Silly, I know. I made sure to not let it get the best of me. I've spent an obscene amount of time here at the cafe this aft. I've been back at applying for jobs. It took so long to get all my bits in place. Being at a cafe and all there is no way to access attachments. I had to re-combobulate my whole cover letter and CV. Now it's done I feel good, and feel back on track. I've been grooving to the snazzy CD that Jeffie made for me before I left. Thanks babe! It really helped in drowning out the nauseating woman beside me as she giggled and sucked face with her boyfriend. LOL I wish they were still here to read this while I write it. They seemed to take great interest in what I was doing on my machine while they were waiting for their hotel reservations to process.

I'm so excited. Tomorrow I'm off to meet up with my friend Elizabeth who just moved here from Ottawa to live with her boyfriend. At last the social companionship that I've been craving! It will be nice to get down town too... Finally got in touch with Blaise. He's back from Dublin. I hope to see him soo too! I can't believe that it's been 5 years since I last saw him!

I'm down to 278 mins! ahhh editing my cv sure ate up a whole lot of time.

Signing off before I freeze to death with the air conditioning.

Remember, not everything in life can be traced. hmm....

Forced Leisure

Is there really such a thing? Well i'm living it! after so much kaos, i've found myself here on a bank holiday. Everything is on hold till tomorrow. I'm so anxious to get things going it's killing me!

Lots of leisure time lots of sipping tea... quite funny really. it's so off the mark when it comes to my pace. Got in touch with Sean this afternoon who sent me a very appreciated e-mail. I'm so desperate for social stimulation it's hilarious, I almost cried when I got his e-mail!

It's lovely here today... yesterday was grey and rainy... in biding time till tuesday rolls around | found myself watching this god awful movie feature soleil moon frye... Punky Brewster, what has become of you? It was too bad for words really... it was a half assed horror flick... I still feel dirty for having watched it. LOL

So much money around this area, I can not relate in the least. I'm just trying to grin and bare it. My cousins are really great to be keeping me and feeding me and all that but I'm just bursting to get my own place and it's only day 3!

I'm now working with 447minutes of internet time... I don't even want to compute how much the time cost... all i know that it's somewhere around 25$ ahhh. I'm just hoping that it will keep me until I get a job and a computer that I can use for these purposes. I think I might have to reslove to just writing in a journal... I unfortunately didn' have room to bring the lovely one Alfredo bought for me before I left. Hopefuly KJ will bring it across to me soon!

I think my right arm is begining to freeze from the unrelentless air conditioning that it blowing on me...

That's all for today.

sj_chick@yahoo.com

20min 20sec.

So is it possible to blog this quickly? I sure hope so... time runs out quickly when you're writing from an internet cafe! I've arrived! I've made sure not to write to anyone yet so as to properly capture all these impressions without tiring myself out by telling others first!

57 sec.

Well It's all good because I have another ticket for 20minutes clenched tightly between my teeth to make sure I don't lose it!

Back on now with but 9mins to keep me!

Arrived on standby flight on Friday morning. I was so happy to finally be here! Barbara and Steel came to get me at the airport. Drove home, freshened up, ate some lunch and then headed off down town for my interview at syszgy. It was a really cool studio with lots of light. Cool friendly people. It's right in the heart of the city. I'm sure I wasn't at my best after having been awake for 24h+ straight! Insanity! regardless it's always the interviews that you don't feel great about that end up being the ones that you end up getting!

Came back home on the Tube with Barbara and ate supper and then passed out. I slept tilk 7h30 this morning. There is just no sleep like the first one once you arrive overseas. The time change can invoke serious deleriousness!

this crazy machine is telling me that it's all over time wise but i clearly still have 4min 15 sec! geesh!

it's so beautiful and hot here. went for a 8mile walk this morning with my cousins. It's good because it will be a good long while until I will be able to affort a gym membership!

Been trying to arrange to get a mobile phone... whoa, it's not easy, there are so many plans and because i have no credit here I can only do pay as you go! grr. imagine, the basic phone cost 70£ (he he they have the £ key on the keyboard here!) you usually have to search all over the place to find one! he he

life is so good, but it's so big! funny how quickly you can go from feeling really trapped where you are to feeling totally free and new! Goodness abounds.

more tomorrow!

The Wait.

So it's been utter madness. Running around non stop for the past two days. Man my sister sure can hustle it! We've been to the moon and back twice I think! We're sure been to Pearson 100 times. I'm almost airported out.... Didn't manage to catch the standby flight last night. Pretty dissapointing, but in a way it's kind of good. It was routed through Montreal, which makes the trip even longer!

Heading out again tonight. Hopefuly this will be a go. Strangely arranged a job interivew for tomorrow PM. They know I'm going to be jet lagged but they need to meet me right away. man oh man.

More later...

Arrivals!

After spending an hour at the arrivals gate last night waiting for my sister to return from Greece, I left with a warm fuzzy feeling. It's incredible the amout of joy and emotion that pours out of that waiting area. It's kind of like a game show for the masses. The big opaque door opens and the mass of people waiting and hoping, hold their breaths to see if they are the lucky receipients of the passenger comming through the other side. But the best thing about the whole deal is that eventually everyone gets their turn. Joy, laughter and tears all constantly re-surfacing. It was so refreshing. I mean if you're ever down in the dumps someday and you're just jonesing for some happiness, just hang out at the arrivals gate at your local airport! I'm hoping to catch the wake of some of that joy, as I will be spending a fair bit of time in the next few days in airports. I'm really kind of anxious to see my game show participent when I arrive in Ottawa this evening. Should be fun!

It's raining today so it looks like KJ's BBQ plans might be foiled. Too bad really, but perhaps we'll just get all the girls together and we can go out for brunch... who knows. I am however thankful for the rain today.

Niagara to Brampton

So the past few days have been busy, busy, busy! I arrived in Brampton on Wednesday night and then left Thursday afternoon for Audey and Griffs wedding. Before I left there was the phone interview with the lady from San Fran for the position in the U.K don't know how well it went really. it's a new position so they're not quite sure exactly what they're looking for. Who knows it may just work out...

Driving for 2 hours when I haven't driven in moths was so strange. It's such a novelty... The only painful issue was the lack of good tunes on the radio and the total lack of a CD player. But I can't complain really. The rain didn't hold off for the wedding. It was lovely nonetheless. I'll have to post some pictures when I get back to Ottawa and pull them off the memory card. I think that the rain really added a lot of character to the ceremony. It was so lush and beautiful in the garden, the rain made it feel really intimate. I'm sure not everyone felt that way, but I thought it was great. Funny how when you get older you get so teary eyed at weddings. It's such a joyous time but there wasn't a dry eye to be seen. I guess emotions get soft and mushy with age... We had a great dinner, drank LOTS of wine and got very little sleep. Driving back was a slight bit more painful seeing as I'm thinking that the lack of sleep issue hampered my abilities to stay alert. It was all good.

Went out last night with la Noeleen. It's great to see her as always... Living so far away from each other certainly doesn't help matters much. Went to this interesting bar in Missisagua. Met a kindred spirt named Steve. Had a good chat and a few good laughs. It's really nice to just sit back and chat with someone with no pretences. I guess living the lifestyle that I do makes me quite open minded... It's not often you meet people who can appreciate the same sort of free spirit. There are so many budding writers popping up all around me. It's so inspiring. Talking the Steve about micro fiction has sparked off my desire to give it a go. It's such a great outlet this writing thing!

Not going to manage to see any of my relatives on this visit. They're all up at the cottage. Slightly disapointing since I'm leaving next Wed. I probably won't even get to see them! Oh well. I've never been stellar at doing family visits.

Had lunch with mum today... she's too cute. She's been very tolerant of the whole facial piercing issue. Mind you she's clearing avoiding looking at me while she speaks to me... but I give her a lot of brownie points for the effort. I know if this was 2 years ago she would have been raising a stink... maybe she's just mellowing out with age. It's fun to spend time with her.

I've committed to doing some serious packing this evening... get everything sorted out. I'm looking forward to heading back to Ottawa and wrapping everything up. I'm also looking forward to Sunday evening....

Going for brunch and probably going to pick up KJ at the airport this evening when she gets in from Greece. Busy, busy, busy!

Drop Dead Fred
Woke up early today... first good sleep in a long time. Cool breeze comming through my window helped matters a great deal. Read my book... drank some coffee and relaxed.

Watched one of my favorite 80's movies with Annik... Drop Dead Fred. I'm not certain who the actor is who plays Fred but it is quite the eccentric treat. I'm thinking that Drop Dead Fred would make a brilliant hallowe'en costume... Especially when he is at the cocktail party wearing the dashing green long tail tuxedo. he has his orange hair all up on end and adjoining at a point at the top of his head. I think I would have no proble doing that style... in fact I can honestly admit awaking some mornings having acheived that hair do in my sleep. It's good to laugh. I couldn't think of a better Saturday morning movie. *giggles to self*

Responses

I thought I would just paste in some of the Sarah-descriptions that I recieved in response to my last posting. Thanks guys, it was a lot of fun!

Sawa: courage, happiness, intel-man fetishism, lust for life, cool t-shirts, sultans and jumpers, and unequalled in plays well with others!

Sarah: (please note this one was written in orange!) optimism, freedom, energizing, caring, funny, fun loving, fun toys, free spirited, welcoming, colorful, non-judgemental, fair, brave, open to anything, author of my favourite quote "I broke my girl parts"; smart, creative, wackyness! The world is a good place because of her - I will miss her.

Lists, Thank yous and goodbyes

So I'm thinking as a going away present for my friends I'm going to compile a sort of thank you list. Not like I'm dying or anything... more so that I want them to know that I appreciate the value they've brought to my life. A little token of the now. People drift apart and change directions in life... I want to make sure to appreciate the Now.

Here's a little list of impressions and shared moments/tidbits that I've jotted down about some of the people in my life... yea yea it's alphabetical, but it was just easier that way.


Amelia: Quality gossip sessions, waxing sessions, smoke socials, laughter, survivor, passion to succeed, pride and power!
Andrew snazzy, sporty, kind, tennis inspiration, chef extraordinaire, beer drinking survivor watching pal.
Benoit: Heartwarming laughter, memories of France, patience, inspiration and understanding
Brad: Brutal honesty, belly laughs, golf tips, honor (for having driven the Bradadllac) and a good case of the fever.
Charlotte: Laughter, broken girl parts, support, compassion and kindness, inspiration
Cheryl: Free spiritedness, artistic ness, laughter, fun, cruising, Tegan and Sara, camping adventures
Danielle: Patience, strength, fury, passion, pain, joy, laughter, adventure, butter ripple shooters, great shoes, time well spent
Darrell: Sweetness, laughter, kindness, understanding, generous, pride, craziness in Montreal (nudge nudge wink wink)
Dom: Undying passion for fashion, laughter, inappropriate flirting, chill vibes, positivity
Jeff: Sweetness, musical passion, radiohead, joy, understanding, pride, artistic assistance
Johnny: relentless humor, compassion, support, inspiration, kindred eccentricities, joy!
Josh: Amazing spirit and generosity, Sally Ann and thrift shop styles that continually blow my mind, handy, daring, caring and kind
Isabelle: Delicate kindness, Uncontrollable giggling in Benoit's bed (avec son petit sac d'eau qu'on buvait comme des folles)
Karm: Longevity, hilarity, zaniness, support, pride, unconditional friendship (through all our ups and downs), "Cigarette? Prepare to pleasure me."
Lynn and Karen: Pure goodness and kindness of spirit, acceptance, fun and laughter, all in the short span of a couple of months.
Maureen: Girl power, money sense, encouragement, self value, inspiration and focus and laughter
Mark: Gentleness, wisdom and patience beyond his years, quirky honesty, my partner in adoration of "when night is falling", staggering creativity, date squares
Sean: Love, Compassion, strength, support, inspiration, confidence, and enough campy expressions to cushion my lexicon from now till eternity
Siobhan: Laughter, comfort, understanding, fun and all in the span of a few short weeks before she left
Suki: Inspiration to write, tingles, reflective ness, kindness and acceptance. (and I've only met her twice)
Suzy: Artistic inspiration, ground breaking fashion, free spiritness, kindness, the best popcorn in the world, survivor, smoke chats
Yvonne: Inspiration strength, pride, sensibility, drive, focus, brutal honesty, amazing compassion and support and who can forget Glitter!

Shopping.

So I went to the shops today. Strange things is, while I was thinking about what to write down today, I can't seem to remember being there. I know I walked from my house to downtown with squinty eyes (no sunglasses). I mean I know I was there, I know where I went... but when I try and have memories of what I did it seems more abstract than real...

Must be the heat.

Hot hot hot!

In case you didn't guess it... it's been HOT!

I spent nearly the entire day packing and packing and purging all but the bare necessities of life. I can't belive how much nostalgia comes with it! It's all good.

KJ was supposed to come and visit me on her way back from rafting this morning... took a wrong turn and ended up in the wrong direction. Instead of turning around she just continued on home. Too bad, I would have loved to have seen her, but it makes a lot more sense for her to get home and rest before she flies to England tonight. She's a mad work 'o holic!

This long weekend has been so novel. I've spent a lot of time by myself... organizing and planning. Trying to keep it as low key as humanly possible so as to avoid a nasty anti-climax once I arrive.

Found Eric's story that he wrote called trinity. It's such a pleasure to read. He really is a talented writer. Read it out loud to Danielle. A strange sort of episode of closure with two of my ex's all at once. Sweet.

Early rising and fiery aftermath

Out last night at the lookout with Siobhan, had a few drinks and soaked up the non smoking environment. What a joy it was to come home and not reek of smoke.

Reeking of smoke was all about yesterday afternoon. Helping Sean and Michael clear out their apt. after the fire that happened on Thursday morning. Tragic really, but no one was hurt so it's all good. I wasn't in the house but 2 minutes before every inch of my body was saturated by the smoky campfire smell. This was no campfire... No insurance meant a lot of sifting though rubble for any surviving artifacts or clothes. Sean sees it as a purging. Forced as it may be it's a sure-fire way to part with objects which under normal circumstances would cause endless hours of humming and hawing whether to keep or not. It's gone, and there aint a darned thing that you can do about it to make it all come back. Happily enough, Sean did speak of a great feeling of freedom. It's very true that the objects and material possessions to which we treasure the most can be at times, an unforeseen weight.

New beginnings, all around me... Some forced, some unfair, some chosen. Its strange how you coast along life at times and everything seems so stable and uneventful... and I'm not sure if it's not until you seek out change yourself, that you see it occurring all around you. Or if some sort of planetary alignment can spark of these sorts of events. I'm
kind of thinking that it's a bit of both. I think it's safe to allow myself that thought...

men•tal / 'men-t&l
1 a : of or relating to the mind; specifically : of or relating to the total emotional and intellectual response of an individual to external reality

' ir•ri•ga•tion /"ir-&-'gA-sh&n/ noun
1 : WET, MOISTEN: as a : to supply (as land) with water by artificial means b : to flush (a body part) with a stream of liquid (as in removing a foreign body or medicating)
2 : to refresh as if by watering

The park people

I'm finding myself to be much more observant than normal as of late. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm leaving soon, so I'm trying to soak in all of the scents, scenery and people in this beautiful city of Ottawa. This morning on my leisurely walk to work, I couldn't help but notice all the park people. Scattered indiscriminately around confederation park were people. People of all different colours and social classes all just resting. One girl was soundly sleeping on her back on the edge of the fountain. Quite fascinating. I had the overwhelming feeling that they were all there just waiting for time to pass. Like waiting for your plane to board or your bus to come, they were time waiters. I can sympathize with that; of late I've found myself slipping into time waiting mode. I mustn't remain idle too long. I have too much absorb.

Half day of work today, and plenty of sunshine. No blockages today!

Lust, lust, lust

The distance between time and space and sweaty naked skin is so blurry. The daze of a hangover coupled with time well spent... life is sweet.

I'm feeling so distracted today and I'm thinking that I know why. Sometimes Wednesday nights should really be Friday nights... if only I could re-arrange time.

"Do you think if you press yourself so tightly against someone's chest that eventually your hearts will begin to beat at the same rhythm?" "I doubt it" I replied. But for now, I want to believe. Ahh, the simple pleasure of fully enjoying the time and space that you're occupying.

Sweet sweet lust. I like it here, can I stay for a while?